i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
