does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
