I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
