My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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