VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
