Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
