But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize