He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
