why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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