Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
