'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
