How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
