I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
