My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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