mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
