I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
