Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize