Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
tell your sister to shave her snatch
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
