You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
