He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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