I feel like abortions should bother me more
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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