her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
