I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My ass is underappreciated
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize