it wasn't lemon gatorade
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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