I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize