i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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