so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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