he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
