Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize