I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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