Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
