no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
