The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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