Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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