If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
