Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
