She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
