question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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