He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
