Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
