it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
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