and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's shark week go big or go home
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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