if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i think my mom watched the whole time
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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