You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize