Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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