Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
