i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Dear god my vagina.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
