I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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