I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
