She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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