gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
