just tell him i said nine months
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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