I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
