you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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