he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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