i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
