He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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