I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
