I got chris browned last night
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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