i think i have herpe
just one?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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