it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
