im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
