So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
