yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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