She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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