I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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