Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
