D3 body, D1 cock
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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