I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
