But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
