does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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