Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
