I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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