i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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