I'm drive I can fine osifer
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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