Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
