she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I am one with the molecules
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
