What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize