Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
